Question: How should I handle a boyfriend who constantly defends his mother and picks her over me consistently?

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Answer #1:

You don't handle him. You leave him. You will never be happy with a man who is such a strong mama's boy. Your sacrifices have been in vain and how dumb are you not to figure this out after over a year of dating?

Answer #2:

...I don't know what you can do..if he didn't even choose you over his sister, he is never going to choose you over his mommy...you can explain to him about how you feel in a calm way that makes sense so he'll understand everything that is going on...but if he didn't even tell his sister to suck it up, if he didn't even argue about it, you're just going o have to accept that you come after his family.. which is not all that weird since you've only been going out for a year, it's not like you're married or anything......And about his mom, well some guys can't stand their moms, but it doesn't sound like he's one of those if he doesn't even get bothered at her for reading his private stuff...going against her, even if you are right, is only going to worsen your situation..

Answer #3:

Believe me I loved my mom but my girl friend would not be a party to this type of brow beating, unfortunately this will remain to be the case for you.
This is because he thinks it is fixed [you paid the price].
You will have to deal with this situation rationally and keep in mind you may lose your man or gain your life back, one way or the other it will not be easy.
Obviously you have common sense, they don't, it will be a battle of you against them which is very sad.
I hope the best for you.

Answer #4:

You are only dating him. He isn't married to you. The fact that YOU have "sacrificed everything" for him is a choice that YOU made. His loyalties lie with his family, parents and siblings. He doesn't HAVE to stand up fo you.

Answer #5:

I am writing this believing you both are old enough to marry and are seriously considering this man as a spouse. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but.... people rarely change unless they REALLY want to change. If you feel he has an umbilical cord stretching from him to his mother, he is the only one who can cut it. Pay close attention to what he DOES, not what he says. If he has not confronted her about her inappropriate breech of confidentiality, and insisted on her apologizing to you by now, he never will. Do you want to be married to a man who will not insist his family treat you with respect?? Respect is one of the most important aspects of any healthy relationship. How much do you think you will love him after 5 or 10 years of dealing with this stuff? I suspect she was washing his laundry (which is more evidence of an umbilical cord) but what she did, shows she has very poor boundaries. Do you really want to be dealing with this type of disrespect and intrusivness the rest of your life???This woman will be your mother in law, she will be the grandmother to your children. She will be in your life until death do you part! I don't know how old you are, but married is for a VERY LONG TIME!!! You need to have more respect for yourself and drop this pair of pants like drift wood! You deserve better, he has had PLENTY of time to respond, I'm sad to say, you've seen his answer/response. If he is fool enough to think he will ever find an intelligent, confident woman that will put up with this, he will at least have his Mommy to hold his hand while he waits. As for you...TIME TO MAKE A NEW PLAN. Change only happens when we want it enough or are unhappy enough to make it happen! P.S If you are still a kid in school...Don't ever make another person the center of your life...being content in life starts with you being and having a whole life all on your own first..





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